Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Biscuits and Gravy? WHAT?!?

In the old days, Jesse and Festus would have been wearing straw hats, dungarees or denim bib overalls, and ( for the few who do not elect to go barefoot ) scruffy boots. They may have been accompanied to the ring by an old dog... sorry... dawg, or perhaps a scantly clad young woman wearing a tight shirt and short shorts, possibly barefoot, but almost certainly gorgeous. She'd have some double barreled name like Daisy-Mae, or Betty-Sue, or Bubba-Ray ( but never Brother Ray ). And they'd all have a fun old time dancing, and cavorting and hinting as only Americans can, that being a "kissing cousin" is not a creepy thing.Come on, you know it's true... you watched wrestling in the 60s, the 70s, or maybe the 80s. And weren't they progressive times for wrestling stereotypes?! If you were bearded and had a lot of hair, you were a hillbilly. If you had a beard and were bald, a Russian. And if you had a lot of hair, like really, REALLY big hair, then you were the main event. That all came to an end when one of these Hillbillies ended up in the White House tho. All of sudden, you had to look at things differently...

Which brings me to Jesse and Festus... Terry Gordy's little boy, and the impostor Kane... Who'd have thought these two opposites in size and style would actually make up one of the best tag teams down the lines in years? Who'd have thought a gimmick where someone is a moron until he hears a bell, at which point he becomes a monster, would not only work, but be damned entertaining ( except for maybe the producers of the old "Incredible Hulk" show)?? Who'd have thought that a big slab of beef like Festus could work one of the best matches I've seen the Undertaker have in years?!? And most of all, who would believe that a guy with a hairline that even I can giggle at and mock, is actually only 24 years old?!?! Heh...

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