Sunday, September 21, 2008

Special effects

All superstars have something to keep them going, something that defines what they are.

William Shatner spent most of his life relying on a girdle to keep him looking trim, but in recent years his expanding girth has gone beyond the limits of even the strongest of these devices.There are rumours that Tom Jones' rider for his concerts includes a small crate of the magic blue pills that keep men going all night. These claims are denied by Tom's people, but the twinkle in Tom's eye, the bulge in his pants, and the noises from his hotel rooms make me believe otherwise.Amy Winehouse has a long list of things that keep her going and make her Amy, and these are being systematically investigated by the London Police.The eternally young Cliff Richard has been accused by some, of bathing in the blood of virgins, but I don't believe the British Elvis would do this. That is more something Ingrid Pitt would do.The Animal Batista has his own special something, and I believe it dates back to his childhood hero, Roger Ramjet.Roger relied on Proton Energy Pills to give him 'the strength of twenty atom bombs for a period of twenty seconds'. Perhaps, in the past, Batista has also taken a few of these energy pills... Purely, I'm sure, in a effort to emulate this childhood icon not only of his, but also of America itself. But again... I'm just guessing.much love J.
(portions of this email have not been checked for verification of the facts... i blame sebastian).

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